Popularity is overrated, people. Seriously, why is it so important to people? Why is it something people strive for and in some cases…would give anything to have it?
It’s quite simple, really. It’s widely believed that when you’re popular, you have people’s attention. You have power and influence. Girls like you, guys like you and all in all, life is just perfect…
…This couldn’t be further from the truth.
You see, it’s not “popularity” or “being popular” that gets you those results. In all actuality, being popular is only a by-product of something else. Something far more important than finding out how to be popular. Something far more valuable than making someone like you or feeling liked.
That something is called – Being Consistent and Effective.
So what do I mean by this? How does being consistent and effective cause popularity? How does it cause you to have more influence and more control in your own social life? It’s quite simple. When you’re effective as well as consistent; people know what to expect from you.
Think about someone you know who is well liked. What are some of their actions that they do on a consistent basis. Do they do certain things consistently? Do they hang out somewhere every Friday or participate in community/friend events on a regular basis? Are they consistent? Chances are they are, but what about how effective they are?
When they are doing what they are doing consistently, how effective are they? If they are participating in a regular event, are they meeting and greeting? Talking and listening? Laughing and interacting? Or are they sitting there not really talking to anyone, not really interacting, only speaking when spoken to? I think we both know what they are actually doing. They are going out of their way to be effective.
It’s one thing to be consistent with what you do, but consistency without effectiveness could be fatal to your social life. Actually it could be detrimental to anything you pursue, being it social, emotional, mental or financial success. You can’t be successfully effective without consistency and you can’t be successful consistently without being effective.
For example, if you’re consistent at not cleaning your home…what happens? Of course it’s an obvious answer; your home ends up looking like crap. The point is that you ARE being successfully consistent…but you aren’t being successfully effective. As simple and perhaps even silly of an example this is…you’d be amazed with how you may be consistent in similarly silly (and more socially damaging) ways.
Remember, you cannot look at being popular first. Popularity will come and quite honestly, it’s not really that important. Ever been on facebook and saw a friend who is “popular” post that he needs some help moving or needs some help financially and out of his 1000+ friends… One or two offer? Sometimes, none offer?
When you’re effective and consistent, people know what to expect around you. People are comfortable to be themselves around you. They don’t have to worry “how” or “who” you’re going to be the next time you interact with them because you’ve been consistent and effective. People need to have someone in their lives they can count on, not necessarily for “something” but they need someone that is consistent on what they do. Do you enjoy hanging out with the person who changes their mood every hour? Or do you like the person who is consistently happy, straight faced, silly, etc with the occasional down day? I think we both know what that answer is.
Most information out there talks about “how to be popular” by doing certain things, saying certain things and in some cases, being someone that you’re not. I strive to have a place you can come to that doesn’t offer “techniques” but guidelines and direction that can help you eliminate the roadblocks you have that are preventing you from the social success that you deserve.
Remember, being consistent breeds popularity.
Click here to read more about Consistency and Self Confidence!